Parents play an important role in everyone’s life, whether negative or positive. My parents have been there for me through everything in my entire life. They were there for me when I made mistakes. They stuck around even at times I thought I was alone. They are always beside me, pushing me through every obstacle and guiding me every step of the way.
They have been especially supportive at times I am needed to make decisions by letting me choose what I want without interfering unless I asked their opinion. Recently, however, we have had some rough times.
I recently completed my college studies which implied that I needed a job. I managed to get an internship at a company that I had grown to love over the few months I had worked there. This company is tech-based and strongly supports my goal in life about making an impact. I have grown into the community and loved what I do in the company. My favorite part of it is the numerous chances of growth, flexible working hours, the community around it, and the difference I feel I make both in the organization and all around me every day.
However, I believe my parents think what I am doing in the organization is more of a hobby so they got me a ‘real’ job in a large company. The job they got me is supposed to jumpstart my career and give me a kick towards even larger companies.
Do not get me wrong, I appreciate the opportunity and I recognize the fact that my parents really care for my well-being and love me enough to look out for me and ensure I have a stable career.
The problem is that I love what I do at this other organization and while I have tried my best to explain it to my parents, they are still not convinced that it is a field worth building a career in. They keep pressuring me against it and pushing me to join the other company and do something I do not really love just because it is more stable and less risky.
How should I deal with this?
‘Mother knows best..” I remember the song from ‘Tangled’. Do you think this is true? Is it okay to assume that our parents know us best? Is it true that our parents know our true selves and therefore all the choices they make are based on who we are?
Some philosophers argue that who we are is portrayed when we are children. When an individual is a child, they have so many choices but they will stick to one which will later define their future. If a child is ‘born to be’ a doctor, she will stick to playing doctor as a child.
This ideology is in support of the deterministic theory. It is the belief that the human future is predefined. This argument supports that our parents do know us best because they have seen who we are over time and hence know what choice is the best for us.
However, what is the point of change if everything is already predetermined? If the future is already determined, what is the point of living? Living is all about discovering ourselves. The person we were yesterday does not need to be who we are today. Playing doctor too much as a child should not imply that I should be pushed to be a doctor.
I wonder how many people live under this type of pressure; where they are pushed towards something that everyone believes is the better choice while what they really want is to go on the opposite side. How many people curve to this pressure and eventually regret it? How many of them stand by their ground and push against the pressure only to later regret it?
Sometimes, it's not even about whether or not you will regret making a particular choice. It is about the happiness and satisfaction that a certain choice brings you and how it aligns with what you believe in. If I were to advise someone in a similar dilemma, I would say ‘do you, you are the one who matters the most here.’
